STOP Apologizing!

Aingeal Rose & I were talking about guilt and forgiveness. It began because of a Voice Code Analysis. Voice Code Analysis is a service we offer our clients to analyze one and a half billion bits of information from a 20-second sample of their voice. The small device returns it back as a voice code that resolves a lot of past-life and current issues. We’re basically using sound frequencies to cancel old patterns and programs. Those old patterns brought up guilt and taught us to stop apologizing!

The device analyzes what’s going on in your consciousness and in your subconscious by recording you saying the five vowel sounds. Then we hit upon the idea of using the Ho’oponopono statement instead. If anybody is familiar with that, the statement is, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you”. Well, stuff came up, and it was deep. It was all guilt, and it went back into lifetimes.

I remember stealing candy when I was six or seven years of age. I remember going into Woolworths and putting my hand into the candy jar when the assistant wasn’t looking. Can you believe the guilt of that is still there? Sometimes when you admit something, it helps ease the guilt, but the sting of the guilt can remain. In my case, I didn’t know how to stop apolgizing.

In the Ho’oponopono statement, we’re saying, “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.” Saying this statement, especially the first part, was great for a while. It was like I was apologizing out loud for things that happened in my past. But lately, the voice code had done its work, and the guilt was now gone, fully dealt with. I wondered, why do I keep saying I’m sorry? What am I apologizing for? How do I stop apologizing?

I heard it clearly. You don’t need to apologize anymore. The days of apologizing are over. You’re sorted.

The intention of Ho’oponopono is that we’re making a statement to forgive the idea that we came into a physical planet, and just by doing so, we bought into the ego thought system, and we’re part of the creation of suffering because of that. So, when you say I’m sorry, please forgive me, you’re basically apologizing to the world for any contribution you made to the ego’s world of suffering. You’re affirming that, at the highest level, none of us are really egos. We’re pure spirit, and because of that, we’re innocent.

At first, I was apologizing to those I hurt. Then I began a dialog with my higher self, saying, “I’m sorry for you being in that delusion and for all the mistakes you’ve made in your life. I’m sorry I haven’t lived up to your expectations. I’m sorry I’m not the enlightened guru that perhaps I should know I am.”

Out of it all, forgiveness arose, on all levels, no matter who’s doing the talking. Whether it’s you talking to your higher self, you talking to God, God talking to you, you talking to your younger self, you talking to a past life self of yours; whatever the situation, ultimately, it is recognizing its all a world of illusion, totally, and there was no need for the apologies. There was no need for the feeling of guilt associated with anything.

I know that’s difficult. Here I am talking about apologizing and feeling guilty over taking a few sweets (candy), whereas there are people who have committed murder, or rape, or incest, or whatever, and it’s very difficult to erase that depth of guilt from the conscious mind.

I’m not saying forgiveness is easy, but it is time to stop apologizing.

Begging for forgiveness is accepting that a vengeful God says, “you’re all guilty of original sin, and therefore you must suffer in order to get out of it. And I’m going to make you suffer because I’m a cruel God, an all-powerful God that’s going to make you suffer until you atone for your sins.” That’s not what’s going on at all.

It was a huge awakening for me to realize that real forgiveness is us individually, us collectively, us at all the different levels of understanding of who we are, where we are, where we’re going, what we’re doing, realizing there is no place for guilt at all. We made it up; we created guilt on multiple levels to punish ourselves for nothing.

Guilt demands punishment.

As long as you want to believe in guilt on any level, whether it’s yourself or someone else, it demands punishment. If not, well, then you believe in a punishing God/Source, which, from all my experience in the Akashic Records, that is not the case. God is loving. All God does is give us another opportunity to know love. That’s it, more opportunities to know love repeatedly, no matter what anybody has done.

So, to get yourself to believe that you’re loved that much, that you are completely innocent, is the challenge we all face.

In reading the following LinkedIn comments, you’ll realize that people are at all different levels of understanding about guilt and punishment and forgiveness. Dr. Julie Smith said,

“If you live in England, then the word ‘sorry’ is something you hear daily as you go about your life. It can be good manners in a variety of situations. But when apologizing is driven by more than just cultural habits, it can be linked to low self-esteem, shame, and trauma. So look out for those apologies today and notice the impact they have on how you feel. Also, notice what feelings come up if you try resisting an unnecessary apology. This can help us understand what’s going on in more depth. Stopping all the unnecessary apologies won’t fix low self-esteem by itself, but it will help. And changing these small behaviors is a significant piece of the larger puzzle.”

Carrie Ann Nado, the CEO at Loop said,

“Ladies, stop apologizing.” (I’m sure this applies to men also, but I’m just writing word-for-word what she said). “Ladies, stop apologizing. Sorry I’m late, sorry I got confused, sorry I missed your call - you’re busy, not wrong.”

And then, in that same thread of replies and responses (which was quite a busy thread), someone said,

“Language is so important. Stop, sorry I’m late. Try, thank you for your patience instead.”

Another person said,

“One of my favorite phrases I implemented a few years ago is, thank you for waiting for me, or thanks for being patient. It immediately praises and expresses gratitude towards the other person and doesn’t apologize for anything because, in most instances, there is nothing to apologize for.”

Another said,

“So the cancel culture is now going to cancel ‘I’m sorry’. I’m a male and I say I’m sorry when I have inconvenienced someone. It has nothing to do with gender or an expectation of gender. I’m truly amazed where culture is going.”

The next person in the thread said,

“This is a great post, something I’m guilty of as well.” (Notice how this person is admitting guilt, even though there’s no guilt attributable.) “Saying sorry and apologizing is easy for a nice down-to-Earth person, but it’s difficult for a stubborn and arrogant person. A knowledgeable and reasonable individual understands how to treat others and thinks rationally.”

Someone else said,

“Let’s stop apologizing and instead, BE sorry. Not just say sorry. 83% of all women struggle with feelings of guilt, guilty of not doing right, not being good enough, or the feeling of not living up to the expectations of what a woman should be.” (I think that comment applies to men just the same.)

Amanda Gurley, who is the National District Trainer for Ferguson Facility Supply, said,

“I used to apologize for everything until I understood and recognized the guilt and shame that came with constantly apologizing. So, I challenged myself to try something different. Every time I wanted to apologize for something that didn’t need an apology, I would pause and think of how I could rephrase it. And so I began thanking people instead of apologizing. ‘Sorry for the delay’ became ‘thank you for your patience’. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t notice that’ became ‘thanks for catching that’. ‘I’m sorry for running late’ became ‘thank you for waiting for me’. Shifting from a constant place of guilt to gratitude not only helped me, it also improved my connections and interactions with others. So, next time you feel the need to apologize, try approaching the situation with gratitude and notice how that affects the situation and yourself.”

So there you go, folks, food for thought. If you’d like to get a Voice Code Analysis from Aingeal Rose & Ahonu, go to Aingeal Rose’s website at https://aingealrose.com/voice.

It’s absolutely worth it because it brings to the surface all this stuff we’ve been carrying around for who knows how long. It’s time to release it. It’s time to go into forgiveness. https://aingealrose.com/voice.

Until next time. Thank you, from Aingeal Rose & Ahonu

P.S. Yeah, her name is like Anne and Gail together - the Gail bit is not the Gale force winds (like my mother used to say), it’s Geal in Irish, which is the shining one, the bright light and she is truly the light of my life! STOP apologizing!