Ahonu goes vulnerable and deeply personal with a soul encounter that needed dimensional repair.
This is Ahonu following up on the journey that Aingeal Rose had me go on, that caused me consternation for a few days. It was a journey into exploring other aspects of ourselves. And I found I didn't want to find all of myself at the one time in any dimensional space. She wanted to see everybody, but I felt I could only manage one aspect of myself at a time. So when I went into that quantum place, I found there was a part of me that needed healing.
Actually, it was very scared. It was hiding in a forest and it had guilt around it because it had murdered me in another lifetime. And I came back out of there and closed the door behind me and a number of different things happened then over the following two days. And I went into a serious depression because I felt guilty about having left that aspect of myself there. And the question kept coming up in my mind, did I just deny a part of myself, did I leave a part of myself in the unknown?
And the whole idea was to forgive it, but it felt as if it was unfinished. There was unfinished business. And I went around for two days wondering, did I bring a negative part of me into this world, and that's why I'm feeling depressed and sad and anxious and worried and uncertain because my physical body was actually shaking at times. It was, I felt so nervous and so uncertain. And it was almost like palpitations of my heart, but it was all over my body.
It was a nervousness, a shake that would happen from time to time. Or, if I was holding something, I felt like an old man with the shivers, you know, when an old man is trying to hold a piece of paper and you can see the paper shaking. That was the kind of sensation that I felt in myself, and I knew it wasn't right. And I felt I had to go back in to fix it, but what to do?
I didn't know how to fix it. I had no guidance or advice or knowledge of what to do. So, I'd heard about walking meditations and there's a beautiful walk where we are along a canal. I think it's about two or two and a half kilometers. And I set off doing a walking meditation, and my intention was that I would find the guidance to know what to do about this situation and this aspect of myself.
The first thing that came to me was the great Babaji. He said, you have to go back in there, but you must go in knowing that nothing can violate love. If you're so full of love going in, there is absolutely no danger of anything happening to you or to any other part of you. Here's the thing; because I was walking by the canal, the canal works on the basis that it flows from high ground all the way to the ocean, which is usually at a lower level.
So you have all these locks along the way. And if anybody knows how a lock works, it's where the water is allowed to flow into a divided area until it comes level with the other side and then a barge or a boat goes in and then it's lowered down into the other side. Or going the opposite direction, the water is allowed in and raises it up to the new level and then it sails out into the higher level water.
Well, this image hit me. Babaji said, “Look around you, answers are everywhere. Your answer is right here. Because you were looking at this relationship of yours in the other dimension as being either more than or less than yourself. Or, looking at it the other way around, you were less than or more than that. So it was a perceived inequality and that's why you felt the danger. You felt you might be compromised or hurt or injured or something might be taken from you.”
I was to go into this dimensional space knowing I had the higher potential of pure love with me that couldn't be compromised or damaged. And if I was bringing love into the other dimensional space, all that was required was that this other aspect of myself would come up to the level of pure love just like the water in a lock.
And when the water on either side is level, then nobody is in any danger of anything because they are level. And they are level with pure love. There's pure love on one side and pure love on the other side, therefore there's no need for a quantum doorway at all, because love will flow across this equally back and forth with no division, no separation. So, I walked joyfully along that canal but I found myself worrying again. Did I have that capacity of love to be able to bring it into that situation? I found I did.
I asked the question, is this the right thing to do? Am I to go in and level the waters, as it were, and leave the door open on the way back, and the answer is yes, absolutely yes. So I went in with that intention, and, boy, was I met with joy! Was I met with the most exhilarating joy that I haven't felt in a long, long, long, long time. It was like this aspect of myself came running home. It came home knowing it wasn't going to be rejected. It came home knowing it was equal. There was only love. There was no criticism, there was no negativity, there was no danger of being hurt, there was no danger of being rejected or lost ever again. It was the most joyful feeling.
But it was an interesting sensation because it's like as if it was happening on both sides of the dimensional split, as it were, at the same time. In other words, I felt the same joy going to this other aspect of myself, knowing that I was being completely forgiven. Also, I knew that there was no danger of being hurt. I knew there was no danger of rejection. I knew that this was a beautiful, equal, soaring, joyful reunion. And all there was was just pure love.
So on the way back, and I say ‘back’ in all meanings of the word, because I was coming back from the canal and I was coming back from this walking meditation and I knew when I looked behind me, there was no doors. There was no division, there was no separation. I felt a total reconciliation, a total forgiveness between me and this aspect of myself. Just before I finally walked in the front door of my home, the question came up, "Am I to do the same thing with any other aspects of myself that may be out there in pain, suffering under this illusion of separation?" And the clear answer from the great Babaji was absolutely, yes!
And I had a sense of, oh, my God, I have to do this right now, and Babaji said, “There is no such thing as time. When you do it, it'll be done. And don't worry, because any kind of pressure like that is just a perception of the mind. The intention is all that's required.”
So I will do that. I'm in such a space now where it's hard to put words on it. It's just a beautiful serene, calm, safe place. And it's bubbling with effervescent joy. And I'd love to to share it with everybody.
